Fred M. Apgar’s memoir, Return to the War on the Plaine des Jarres, delivers a deeply personal account of what many Americans refer to as the “secret war” in Laos during the Vietnam War era. This remarkable book functions simultaneously as a historical document, a personal journey of healing, and a tribute to the Hmong fighters who served alongside American forces—many of whom made the ultimate sacrifice for a cause that would eventually be abandoned.
What distinguishes Apgar’s narrative is its dual timeline: the young Air Force Intelligence Officer’s experiences in 1969-1970 juxtaposed against his return to the same battlefields over four decades later. Through this compelling structure, readers witness not only the unfolding of military operations but also the long-term psychological impact of war and the profound journey toward reconciliation.
Shining Light on America’s “Secret War”
For those unfamiliar with this chapter of American military history, Apgar provides an accessible yet comprehensive introduction to the conflict in Laos. Despite being one of the most heavily bombed countries per capita in history, Laos remains a footnote in most Americans’ understanding of the Vietnam War. Apgar helps correct this historical oversight.
The author meticulously documents the role of the 7th Airborne Command and Control Squadron (7ACCS), call sign “Alleycat,” which flew missions over Northern Laos (code-named “Barrel Roll”) from C-130 aircraft. As an Air Intelligence Officer, Apgar flew 116 combat missions, supporting the CIA’s clandestine army known as L’Armee Clandestine, comprised primarily of Hmong fighters led by the charismatic General Vang Pao.
Apgar’s detailed descriptions of operations provide valuable insights into military procedures rarely documented elsewhere:
- The complex rules of engagement (ROE) that often hampered effective military action
- The coordination between Forward Air Guides (FAGs) on the ground and airborne command posts
- The collection and interpretation of intelligence from Road Watch Teams (RWTs)
- The heroic search and rescue (SAR) operations for downed pilots
What resonates most powerfully is Apgar’s portrayal of the Hmong warriors who fought alongside American forces. He conveys their remarkable courage, resilience, and loyalty, even as U.S. policy decisions increasingly undermined their chances for victory. The author’s admiration for these fighters permeates the narrative, lending emotional weight to what could otherwise have been a dry military account.
A Soldier’s Inner Journey
Beyond its historical value, Apgar’s memoir offers a profound exploration of a combat veteran’s psychological journey. With candid vulnerability, he articulates the complex emotions many veterans experience but struggle to express: the adrenaline of combat missions, the guilt of survival, the repression of trauma, and the difficulty of reintegration into civilian life.
Particularly moving is Apgar’s description of returning home to an America largely indifferent to—or actively hostile toward—Vietnam-era veterans. Like many of his generation, he buried his wartime experiences, focusing instead on his career in education and family life. Yet as decades passed, he recognized an unresolved emptiness that could only be addressed by returning to Laos.
Returning to Barrel Roll: A Journey of Redemption
The heart of Apgar’s memoir lies in his 2014 return to Laos. This section transforms the book from a military memoir into something far more profound—a journey of healing and reconciliation. Apgar’s descriptions of revisiting former battlefields, abandoned airstrips, and cave complexes are vivid and evocative, allowing readers to visualize landscapes forever altered by war yet still hauntingly familiar to the author.
Most powerful are his encounters with former combatants—both allies and enemies. With remarkable openness, Apgar describes meetings with former North Vietnamese Army officers, Pathet Lao fighters, and Hmong veterans who fought alongside American forces. These interactions transcend the political divisions of the war, revealing a shared humanity and mutual respect among former adversaries.
In one particularly moving passage, Apgar describes an encounter with a former enemy combatant. Rather than harboring resentment, this man embraces Apgar as a “brother.” Such moments illuminate the possibility of reconciliation in even the most seemingly intractable conflicts.
Technical Excellence and Accessibility
Stylistically, Apgar strikes an effective balance between technical military terminology and accessible prose. While he provides detailed explanations of military operations that will satisfy history buffs and veterans, he never loses sight of the human element that makes his story compelling to general readers.
Return to the War on the Plaine des Jarres is thoughtfully organized into three distinct sections:
- Part One: Apgar’s year-long deployment in Southeast Asia (1969-1970)
- Part Two: The aftermath and long-term consequences of America’s withdrawal
- Part Three: His return journey to Laos in 2014
This structure allows readers to understand not only what happened during the war but also its lasting consequences for both American veterans and the Laotian people. Particularly valuable is Apgar’s discussion of the Hmong’s fate after U.S. withdrawal—a shameful abandonment that resulted in persecution, flight, and refugee status for thousands who had fought alongside American forces.
Visual Documentation Enhances Understanding
The memoir includes valuable photographs that contextualize Apgar’s experiences. Images from his 1969-1970 deployment document military aircraft, installations, and personnel, while photographs from his 2014 return journey capture the landscapes, cave complexes, and—most significantly—the people he encountered. These visual elements enhance the reader’s understanding of both the historical events and the author’s emotional journey.
A Memoir With Universal Resonance
While Return to the War on the Plaine des Jarres will naturally appeal to Vietnam-era veterans and military history enthusiasts, its themes of reconciliation, forgiveness, and healing resonate far beyond these audiences. Apgar’s journey speaks to universal human experiences: confronting painful memories, seeking closure, and finding unexpected connections across divides of politics, nationality, and time.
The memoir raises profound questions that apply to conflicts beyond Vietnam:
- How do societies reconcile after war?
- What responsibilities do nations bear toward their wartime allies?
- How do individual veterans heal from combat experiences?
- Can former enemies find common ground in their shared humanity?
These questions make Apgar’s memoir relevant not only to understanding America’s past conflicts but also to addressing current and future wars.
A Valuable Addition to Vietnam War Literature
Apgar’s book, Return to the War on the Plaine des Jarres, joins important works like Vint Lawrence’s “The Ravens” and Roger Warner’s “Shooting at the Moon” in documenting America’s covert operations in Laos. However, unlike these predominantly historical accounts, Apgar’s memoir offers something uniquely valuable: a first-person perspective on both the war itself and the long journey toward healing that followed.
For readers familiar with Tim O’Brien’s seminal Vietnam War book “The Things They Carried,” Apgar’s memoir provides a non-fiction companion that explores similar themes of memory, guilt, and the difficulty of communicating war experiences to those who weren’t there. Like O’Brien, Apgar understands that war stories are never simply about battles won or lost, but about the human beings forever changed by combat.
Conclusion: Brotherhood, Forgiveness, and Redemption
Return to the War on the Plaine des Jarres ultimately transcends the boundaries of a conventional war memoir. While it provides valuable historical documentation of a little-understood conflict, its greatest achievement lies in chronicling Apgar’s path toward healing and reconciliation.
The author concludes his journey with three profound gifts received from the people he encountered in Laos: Brotherhood, Forgiveness, and Redemption. These gifts—offered by those who had every reason to view Americans as enemies—provide a powerful testament to human resilience and the possibility of healing even the deepest wounds of war.
In an era when America continues to engage in military conflicts worldwide, Apgar’s memoir offers timely insights into the long-term human costs of war and the difficult but essential process of reconciliation. For veterans still struggling with their own war experiences, for policymakers considering military interventions, and for all readers interested in the human dimension of conflict, this thoughtful and moving memoir provides valuable perspective and, potentially, a path toward healing.
