In the crowded field of food memoirs, Laurie Woolever’s “Care and Feeding” stands apart as a refreshingly unflinching account of a life spent navigating the exhilarating yet often toxic world of high-end restaurants and food media. Unlike the typical chef memoir that glosses over the industry’s darker elements with a patina of glamour, Woolever offers a bracingly honest portrayal of her struggles with addiction, self-destructive behavior, and the complicated relationships that defined her career trajectory.
What makes this memoir particularly compelling is its dual nature: it functions both as an insider’s account of working alongside culinary icons Mario Batali and Anthony Bourdain, and as a deeply personal chronicle of Woolever’s own battle to find purpose and sobriety while reconciling her professional ambitions with the demands of marriage and motherhood.
Behind the Scenes with Culinary Giants
The memoir’s title, “Care and Feeding,” serves as a multifaceted metaphor for Woolever’s life’s work—both her literal occupation in the food world and her complicated relationship with nurturing others while struggling to care for herself. Beginning with her post-college stint as a private cook for a wealthy Manhattan family (“the Smiths”), Woolever charts her journey through culinary school and into the orbit of Mario Batali, for whom she worked as an assistant during Babbo’s early heyday.
Woolever pulls no punches in her portrayal of Batali, documenting his inappropriate behavior years before the #MeToo movement would bring such conduct into the spotlight. Her account of an Atlantic City business trip—where Batali introduces her as one of his “prostitutes” to a fan and subjects a young sommelier to humiliation at a strip club—offers a disturbing glimpse into the chef’s character. These stories acquire additional weight given Batali’s later fall from grace amid sexual misconduct allegations.
Her description of working with Anthony Bourdain presents a more nuanced portrait. While acknowledging his generosity and support (he gave her co-author credit on their cookbook “Appetites” and helped advance her writing career), she also reveals his obsessive personality, particularly regarding his relationship with Asia Argento. The sections dealing with Bourdain’s suicide are handled with sensitivity and complexity, avoiding both hagiography and blame.
A Fearless Self-Examination
What elevates “Care and Feeding” beyond a tell-all industry exposé is Woolever’s unsparing examination of her own flaws and failings. She writes with remarkable clarity about her struggles with alcoholism, substance abuse, and infidelity:
“I don’t know what happiness feels like when it doesn’t involve some measure of shame. My happiest moments of the last several years have involved illicit sex acts in strange places, blind drunkenness and loud music, the first twenty minutes of being very stoned for the first time in a day, and rewatching certain scenes from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.”
This level of uncomfortable honesty permeates the memoir, creating a portrait of someone desperately seeking fulfillment through increasingly self-destructive behaviors. Woolever’s account of being confronted by her husband about her infidelities after he discovered a confessional document she’d written is particularly wrenching, as is her description of how she tried to maintain a façade of normalcy for their young son during the imploding marriage.
Stylistic Strengths and Weaknesses
Woolever’s prose is clear and propulsive, occasionally leavened with sardonic humor that prevents the darker moments from becoming overwhelming. Her background as a food writer means she knows how to craft evocative descriptions of meals—from the “gloriously messy chili crabs from a stall on the beach” in Sri Lanka to the “ziti al telefono, a very simple dish involving pasta, tomato sauce, and cubes of fresh mozzarella cheese” that Batali demonstrates in Atlantic City.
Where the memoir occasionally falters is in its pacing. The middle sections contain a few narrative detours that, while interesting, somewhat dilute the memoir’s emotional impact. Additionally, certain relationships—particularly with “Jack,” the novelist with whom she has an on-again, off-again affair—receive extensive attention while others remain underdeveloped.
The Industry’s Reckoning
“Care and Feeding” arrives at a pivotal moment in the culinary world’s overdue reckoning with its problematic culture. Woolever doesn’t shy away from examining her own complicity in an industry where bad behavior was routinely excused as the cost of genius. When Batali’s predatory conduct finally faces public scrutiny in 2017, Woolever grapples with conflicted feelings:
“I told her that I had mixed feelings about what was coming for him, that I knew he’d treated women badly and abused his power, but that I still had some vestigial loyalty and gratitude toward him.”
This ambivalence feels authentic rather than evasive—the natural response of someone trying to reconcile years of complicated history with emerging awareness. The memoir provides no easy answers about how to respond to problematic figures whose mentorship proved valuable, which is precisely what makes it valuable to the ongoing conversation about power and accountability in professional kitchens.
The Path to Recovery
The most moving sections of “Care and Feeding” document Woolever’s gradual journey toward sobriety. Unlike many recovery narratives that present an epiphany followed by linear progress, Woolever’s path is realistically messy. She quits drinking but continues using marijuana; she attends 12-step meetings but resists fully embracing the program; she trades one form of self-destruction for another through a series of ill-advised relationships.
What emerges is a portrait of recovery as an ongoing process rather than a destination—a daily practice of honesty, self-awareness, and acceptance that never truly ends. By the memoir’s conclusion, Woolever has achieved six years of sobriety and established herself as an independent writer, having published “Bourdain: The Definitive Oral Biography” and co-authored “World Travel: An Irreverent Guide” with Bourdain.
Highlights and Takeaways
Some of the memoir’s most compelling aspects include:
- Vivid industry insights: From the chaotic kitchen of Babbo to the high-stakes world of food media, Woolever provides an insider’s view rarely captured with such honesty
- Cultural touchstones: Her accounts of visits to El Bulli, Tokyo’s Park Hyatt, and Sri Lanka offer fascinating glimpses into pivotal moments in food culture
- Unflinching honesty: Unlike many memoirs that selectively present their subjects in flattering light, Woolever refuses to spare herself from scrutiny
- Complex portraits: Both Batali and Bourdain emerge as fully realized, contradictory human beings rather than caricatures
Final Assessment
“Care and Feeding” stands as a significant contribution to food literature precisely because it refuses to romanticize the culinary world or its author’s place within it. While fans of Bourdain will certainly find value in Woolever’s insights into his final years, the memoir’s greatest strength is its portrayal of a woman fighting to define herself beyond the shadows of famous men while confronting her own demons.
At times uncomfortable but ultimately redemptive, this is a memoir that earns its hard-won optimism. In the epilogue, Woolever reflects: “I used to think that the only way to do things was to ruinous excess… It is a privilege to be upright, happy, and alive.” This sentiment encapsulates the journey documented in these pages—from chaos to clarity, from excess to gratitude, from the margins to center stage.
For readers interested in the culinary world, addiction literature, or simply powerful memoirs of personal transformation, “Care and Feeding” delivers a feast of insights that will linger long after the final page.
Similar Works: Fans of “Care and Feeding” might also enjoy Gabrielle Hamilton’s “Blood, Bones & Butter,” Stephanie Danler’s “Stray,” or Lisa Donovan’s “Our Lady of Perpetual Hunger”—all memoirs that explore the intersection of food, gender, and personal struggle with unflinching honesty.
Previous Works: Woolever previously co-authored “Appetites: A Cookbook” and “World Travel: An Irreverent Guide” with Anthony Bourdain, and wrote “Bourdain: The Definitive Oral Biography.”
