Bad Therapy by Abigail Shrier

Remember when childhood was supposed to be carefree? When skinned knees were badges of honor, not trauma? When kids roamed neighborhoods unsupervised and somehow survived to tell the tale? Those days are long gone, replaced by a sanitized, over-monitored, therapy-saturated childhood that’s producing a generation of anxious, depressed young people ill-equipped to handle life’s inevitable challenges.

At least, that’s the provocative argument at the heart of Abigail Shrier’s incendiary new book “Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up.” With her characteristic blend of meticulous reporting and sharp commentary, Shrier takes aim at what she sees as the true culprit behind the youth mental health crisis: not social media or academic pressure, but the mental health industry itself.

A Damning Diagnosis

Shrier, best known for her controversial bestseller “Irreversible Damage” about transgender youth, doesn’t pull any punches in her latest work. She argues that well-meaning but misguided mental health professionals, educators, and parents have inadvertently stunted children’s emotional growth through excessive coddling, accommodation, and medicalization of normal childish behavior.

The result? A generation of young people who struggle with basic life skills, view themselves as perpetually victimized, and recoil from the very experiences that could help them develop resilience. As Shrier puts it:

“We’ve replaced one set of problems for another. Everything we were doing felt so virtuous. Everything we were producing seemed so broken.”

The Iatrogenic Effects of Overzealous “Helping”

Drawing on hundreds of interviews with psychologists, teachers, parents, and young people themselves, Shrier builds a compelling case that many common therapeutic approaches are doing more harm than good. She coins the term “bad therapy” to encompass a range of well-intentioned but ultimately damaging practices:

• Constantly monitoring children’s emotions and encouraging rumination
• Affirming and accommodating every worry or fear rather than helping kids face challenges
• Liberally dispensing psychiatric diagnoses and medication for normal developmental struggles
• Encouraging kids to view themselves as traumatized victims
• Undermining parental authority and family relationships

Shrier argues that these approaches often backfire, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy where kids internalize the idea that they’re fundamentally broken and incapable of handling life’s ups and downs.

The Medicalization of Childhood

One of Shrier’s most damning critiques is aimed at what she sees as the over-diagnosis and over-medication of children for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, and depression. She cites alarming statistics showing skyrocketing rates of psychiatric diagnoses and medication use in children, often for behaviors that previous generations would have considered normal (if annoying) aspects of growing up.

Shrier doesn’t deny that some children genuinely need medication, but she argues that we’ve gone way overboard, pathologizing typical childhood experiences and robbing kids of the opportunity to develop natural coping mechanisms. As she puts it:

“When you start a child on meds, you risk numbing him to life at the very moment he’s learning to calibrate risks andhandle life’s ups and downs.”

The Tyranny of Feelings

Another major target of Shrier’s critique is the modern obsession with children’s emotional states. From preschool “emotions check-ins” to high school mental health surveys, kids are constantly prodded to examine and share their feelings. Shrier argues this excessive focus on emotions can actually increase anxiety and depression by training kids to ruminate on every negative thought or feeling.

She’s particularly scathing about “social-emotional learning” programs in schools, which she sees as thinly-veiled attempts to usurp parental authority and indoctrinate children into a particular worldview. Shrier contends these programs often undermine family relationships and cultural values while failing to actually improve children’s emotional well-being or social skills.

Helicopter Parents and the Death of Independence

Overprotective parenting doesn’t escape Shrier’s critical gaze either. She argues that by shielding children from every possible risk or discomfort, we’re raising a generation incapable of handling normal life challenges. Shrier contrasts this approach with cultures that encourage early independence, like Japan, where young children routinely run errands and navigate public transportation alone.

The book is peppered with cringe-inducing anecdotes of parental overreach, like the mom who keeps track of her college-age daughter’s menstrual periods or the parents who demand teacher intervention for every playground squabble. Shrier argues this constant hovering prevents kids from developing problem-solving skills and self-reliance.

A Call for a Return to Common Sense

So what’s the solution to this mess we’ve created? Shrier advocates for a return to more traditional parenting and educational approaches that prioritize independence, personal responsibility, and resilience over constant affirmation and accommodation. Some of her recommendations include:

• Allowing kids more unsupervised time to play and explore
• Setting clear boundaries and expectations rather than endlessly negotiating
• Encouraging kids to solve their own problems rather than immediately intervening
• Limiting screen time and social media use
• Resisting the urge to pathologize normal childhood struggles
• Trusting kids’ natural resilience rather than assuming they’re traumatized by every setback

A Provocative but Necessary Conversation

“Bad Therapy” by Abigail Shrier is sure to ruffle some feathers, particularly among mental health professionals and educators who may feel unfairly maligned. Shrier’s take-no-prisoners style and occasional hyperbole can sometimes undermine her otherwise well-researched arguments.

However, even those who disagree with some of her conclusions will likely find value in the important questions she raises. Are we inadvertently harming children in our quest to protect them from every possible hurt? Have we gone too far in medicalizing normal childhood experiences? How can we better balance children’s need for both nurturing and independence?

The Verdict: A Must-Read for Anyone Concerned About Youth Mental Health

While not without its flaws, “Bad Therapy” by Abigail Shrier is a timely and thought-provoking examination of a critical issue. Shrier’s prose is engaging and often darkly funny, making for a compelling read even when tackling heavy subject matter. Her extensive use of firsthand accounts from parents, educators, and young people themselves adds depth and emotional resonance to her arguments.

Whether you end up agreeing with all of Abigail Shrier’s conclusions or not, “Bad Therapy” will undoubtedly spark important conversations about how we can better support children’s emotional development in an increasingly complex world. It’s a must-read for parents, educators, mental health professionals, and anyone concerned about the well-being of the next generation.

Who Should Read This Book?

• Parents struggling to navigate the modern parenting landscape
• Educators and school administrators involved in student mental health
• Mental health professionals working with children and adolescents
• Anyone interested in youth mental health and child development

Similar Books to Explore

If you find Shrier’s arguments compelling, you might also enjoy:

• “The Coddling of the American Mind” by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt
• “Free-Range Kids” by Lenore Skenazy
• “The Collapse of Parenting” by Leonard Sax

The Bottom Line

“Bad Therapy” by Abigail Shrier is a provocative, well-researched critique of modern approaches to children’s mental health. While some readers may find Shrier’s arguments overly broad or dismissive of genuine mental health concerns, her core message—that we may be harming kids in our overzealous attempts to help them—is one that deserves serious consideration.

In a world where childhood anxiety and depression rates continue to climb despite our best efforts, perhaps it’s time to consider that our “cure” might be worse than the disease. Shrier’s book offers a compelling starting point for rethinking our approach to raising resilient, emotionally healthy kids.